Saturday, September 11, 2010
Tweet 4 Meaning of Silent Men Attitude
PARTNER is a sudden change of mood becomes more subdued is frustrated pleasure for women. Pulled out of the "shell" to make it open my mouth to your tasks.
Sometimes the obvious reason for the silence a man, like fun work, concentration on video games, chewing a mouthful because food was too much, and so forth. However, there are times where his mouth locked tight for reasons mysterious. At that moment, his silence can be a negative effect on your relationship.
"Women often judge a man's silence is a bad thing because he thinks the couple did not want to communicate or do not care about him," says William July, PhD, author of Understanding the Tin Man. "But, (fear) that almost never happens. Your partner cares, he just can not always find the right words to say."
Here, leaks are several reasons behind the man's silence, as quoted by Cosmopolitan.
He believes you can not solve problems
You may be tired of asking what happened to him to be silent and merely replied, "okay." But, you may need to stop asking and considering how would you react if he actually told the truth.
"Often, a man would think that talking can be caused him to lose points (authority) more than he got," says Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Women Can not Hear What Men Do not Say. "So he's keeping a lot of things for himself."
Say you tell a legal dispute with colleagues, and the couple did not respond. You think she did not want to be involved, but in logical thinking, he was siding with peers, not you. Therefore, he need not speak for sure you'd be angry if he says with an honest assessment.
The only way to stop his silence is telling that you will listen to opinions calmly, even if what he said is not what you want to hear.
"If he has the confidence that you will listen and respond more positively than the previous experience, he will feel safe enough to talk," said Farrell.
He's afraid to be emotional
Boys are taught that when injured, they should keep it to yourself. Then when they started dating, she stressed how the importance of expressing feelings.
"Being emotional is a scary place for many men," said July.
This makes them feel not ready to deal with feelings, is also really frustrating. Chances are, you will break up if he could not give guarantees comfort when the discussion about the future.
"A man can fear not just with his own emotions, but also the important things in him," says Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Men Could Talk. "As we grow, many boys are taught that they must bury their feelings."
If you feel that his silence because he was afraid of losing prestige, there are some things you can do. First, encourage him to relax. "Help him by not giving ultimatums, or criticize him for not being a good communicator. They just need time," said July.
Second, helped by not only asking the right questions, but also asked him the right way. Men often have difficulty describing feelings, that's why you need to start a question with four important words: "Do you feel like ...?". Follow with several options, and then he will start to open his mouth without even realizing it.
She was too embarrassed
When you want to talk about the boss, have the couple to avoid these issues? Could be because she was too embarrassed. "Nearly all men worry that if they are not successful (financial, career, etc.-ed), they will be judged a failure," said Farrell. "In particular, a man no longer afraid of their partner faithful and honor."
Now you know how vulnerable couples, where you may be tempted to treat it like a baby. But, do the opposite. "Build confidence," said July. "Rather than cope with feelings of helplessness, singgunglah excess."
If, say, he lost his job and have not found another job, tell him it was proof of how bad the economy because a man as intelligent as he has not got a job.
"Even if he did not open at that instant, his self-confidence will increase the likelihood that he will be more open at a later time," he added.
He pondered another question
The man is a straight thinker. Unlike women who advanced thinking of many things at one time, men have difficulty moving from one problem until the problem is completed. So, if he shut up at home, it could be because his mind was still in office, thinking about work deadlines.
If you want a discussion of the problems he faced, find a quiet place, away from interference in the third person, and create a relaxed atmosphere, for example, eating pizza.
"Giving him space is important, so start by asking about activities throughout the day," suggested in July.
When a man feel cared for and free to say what he wants, he will be more open.
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1 comments:
So these women know why we are silent
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